I Still Eat Alone

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19).

"All your need."

How often have you named something a "need" that in reality was merely a want? I clearly remember many times as single young woman looking ahead to one day marrying and dreaming of the day when I would no longer do certain things alone. I would have said that I "needed" a husband to share life with. I would have expressed my loneliness and my desire to support and encourage a husband. I would have drawn a picture of what I thought I needed and it would have included sharing even the most mundane tasks of life with the man I loved. I would have outline shared mealtimes, shopping trips, nights snuggled close to the one I loved, and long heart-to-heart talks on a regular basis. I would have considered each of those things to be more than just something I wanted, but instead something that I needed.

Guess what? Today I face what was then an unexpected reality. Yes, I am married to a wonderful, godly man who I count myself blessed to share life with, but many of those things I "needed," God has taught me I do not.

One of the realities of life as a Law Enforcement Officer's wife is that I am almost daily challenged to let go of that which I think I need and trust God to supply that which He knows I need. Yes, it can be hard to eat most of my meals alone, to go to bed regularly without my husband, and to not be able to talk through circumstances that seem so important on my own time table, but I have been learning that in the moments of lonely, in the moments of downright hard, He can be enough. He can supply for all my need according to His riches in glory by His Son Jesus Christ. He is always faithful.

My dreams for my future have not turn out as I planned that they would, but I can honestly say that I am thankful for each of the challenges God has used so far to begin teaching me the difference between wants and needs, to teach me a deeper reliance upon Him, and to show me in great and small ways that He is faithful to supply all of our needs.

I do not know what challenges the future may hold, but I imagine there will likely be greater challenges than the ones I have met so far and I am grateful for each of these small "growing pains" that are preparing me to trust that no matter what realities the future may hold, God knows just what I need and He will supply for all of my needs...even when my deepest wants and desires are left in shatters by the wayside.


To all my young friends out there who are yet looking ahead towards their hoped for future marriage, holding all your specific "needs" before the Lord. I would challenge you to let your grip go slack and truly trust the God you serve to supply all you need...even if it means a future that doesn't look like that which you have envisioned. Trust Him to be enough. No matter what.