Choices and Priorities

Today I was faced with a difficult choice. One I struggled not to second guess myself on more than once. While at church I was reminded of a graduation party this afternoon for a young man from church and was asked if I planned to come. I had completely forgotten the party was today, and while I knew I would enjoy additional fellowship if I went, I was not willing to make a quick decision without thinking through how it might effect my husband, who was at home sleeping after a night shift.

When I said I was not sure I could come because I needed to pack my husband's lunch (the first thing that came to mind), I was encouraged to go home, pack it quickly and then come on to the party. I left not fully committing one way or the other, but continuing to think through the wisdom of going or not going.

Part of me really wanted to go, because the idea of spending an afternoon with friends sounded both fun and relaxing. Besides I guessed that if I did not show up at least one person would wonder why I was not there, and likely would come to a wrong conclusion when I did not show up. Perhaps she would think that I was being unsociable, overly concerned about my husband, or some other scenario I had not even thought of, but most likely that person would not guess the whole truth. Yet, on the other hand, I was not sure I should go because in the last two days I had spent a maximum of three waking hours with my husband (and about an equal amount of sleeping hours...yes I count those as special too!). Those waking hours included his stages of waking up (where he does not say or hear much), sitting with him as he ate hurried breakfasts before heading out the door to work, and praying with him one morning before he crashed into bed after an especially challenging night at work. Not exactly quality time, but still time important to us in staying connected as a couple.

I decided that not seeing him awake at all today (unless you count when I peaked at him as he crawled into bed this morning before I rolled over and went back to sleep) did not sound appealing to me, or healthy for our relationship. Besides, I knew he had set his alarm so he could get the most sleep possible (he got to bed late because he unloaded and hooked up my new stove, sweet husband) and would be counting on me to get his breakfast while he showered and shaved so that he could still have a filling breakfast and get out the door on time. In other words, he sacrificed sleep to make sure I had a working stove, so the least I could do was make sure he had a substantial breakfast before he headed off for another busy night at work. Right?

Yet, even with those reasons in mind, I still wavered a bit about what I should do because I have had to pass up on several things this night shift so that I could not only spend time with my husband, but also show him love by fixing his breakfasts in the evenings and packing his lunches for work. I did not feel bad about saying no for my sake because I love spending time with my husband and spending time finding ways to show him how much I love him. No, I felt bad because I knew that people often do not understand why I say no to different events and are apt to misjudge me and my husband for the choices we make that may seem selfish or foolish from their outside, partial perspective.

In the end however, the joy of waking my husband up with a back rub when he did not hear his alarm at first and seeing his smile when I gave him his good morning kiss, and another smile as I set his breakfast before him, and another as he kissed me goodbye and headed out the door encouraged for another shift of duty made me know that I had made the right choice. No matter what anyone else thought. I was where I was supposed to be, by my husbands side supporting him all the way.

The moral of my tale. One, do not make assumptions until you know the facts. Law Enforcement life and night shifts are no joke and require sacrifices and creative living to keep family relationships strong and thriving. Two, think about your own priorities and make choices that are best for your family, no matter what others on the outside might think. In the end you will be glad you did. :)

~ Gracie

Laughing Midst the Weeds

I sleepily rolled over and opened my eyes to the unexpected sound of laughter. I had seen my husband off to work a couple of hours before and had laid back down for a few more winks, as I was feeling unusually tired, so I knew the laughter was not coming from inside the house, but I did not know who it could be, so I curiously peeped under a curtain to see.

Outside I spotted several ladies with hoes in hand talking and laughing as they busily weeded the surrounding yard. I recognized them as the ladies our landlord had hired to do landscaping. As I turned away, my curiosity appeased, I paused a moment. How often do I laugh while I am out hoeing weeds? Either literal or figurative ones?

When we encounter spiritual weeds (sin) in our lives, do we find pleasure in the hoeing out process? I know from experience that I often do not submit to this weeding without some measure of discomfort to say the least, and when I feel twinges of pain I am not in the habit of laughing. Not to mention that hoeing can be back breaking, arm wearing work which leaves me tempted to complain. No, rejoicing at removing weeds is hardly my natural response.

Yet, here in these ladies I saw an example of what I should be. Of how I should rejoice when God reveals the weeds in my heart and prods me to remove them. How the twinges of pain should be reason for a triumphant smile as it signifies His work in me and the removal of that which is unholy in the process of making me more like Him.